And this is how the shit-storm all starts again… that is, if I let it.
Summer
has officially started which means no more classes and no homework,
which all comes down to having nothing to keep me busy.
Complaining about not having homework and classes…yeah, it even surprises me.
After
drugs, I think we all try to avoid that dangerous feeling of being
bored. What’s that saying? “Idle hands are the devils playground?” Guess
I now understand it.
I’m sure most of my fellow “recovering” addicts out there can agree with me when I say, it fucking drives me nuts Just
sitting there can make your brain pull out all sorts of memories from
the very back corner of your mind that brings out…what were those things
we were trying to numb out? Oh yeah…emotions.
Well
I knew I needed to keep myself busy, so the first thing that popped
into my head was writing. So here I am, just letting the words flow out.
Like many of you, writing just…well I guess I can only describe it as
something I NEED to do. The best form of therapy I know.
So
one thing I need to do is get back involved in the blogging world. I
know it always helps me, somehow I just never end up posting the things I
write. I guess it’s a confidence thing? Don’t think it’s, “good
enough,” or something like that.
Then I thought about it… I can’t
let my insecurities stop me from doing what I love, not anymore. That
is after all where that happiness comes from that we are always looking
for right?
Besides, the responses or messages you get from
the people you meet while blogging, can literally make your day
sometimes. I know many of you have for me. (THANK YOU!)
So,
besides blogging I have also decided to finally try writing my novel
that has been on my to-do list since I was 7…or somewhere around there.
So if any of you are writing out there, and have advice, I would LOVE to
hear it.
To end, I guess being bored can also be a good
thing. It gives you an opportunity to try something new, find a new
hobby, or write every random word going on in your head. The hard part
is just getting started.
Stay strong everyone. And have a good night.