How Can I Help?

How can I help? What a strong question that gets belittled each and every day. Do we really mean it when we say it?

Anyway, it's the title of a book I had to read for a class I was taking. Not to sound like a preacher, but I definitely think this is a book we should all read.

Whatever we are going through, I feel this brook will help you look at things just a bit differently. It really made me think; how I looked at life, the world around me, and the things I am doing every single day.

To be perfectly honest, sometimes the book made me feel like shit. But don't get me wrong, it is still an amazing book.

How can I describe it? I guess the title says it all. It not only makes you ask yourself how you can help the people and world around you, but even more importantly, it makes you think about how you can help yourself.

From anything I have learned in sobriety, which still doesn't even amount too much, is that we all need to help ourselves first. Before anything else we try to tackle with someone else.

Whether it is be being depressed as hell, angry as shit, or just craving that chemical help that we addicts were so fond of, it makes us really look deep inside ourselves and reach into the guts and messy shit we stored in the back of our minds that we don't want to deal with.

Trust me, I know that sounds terrible; just writing it made me realize that. But it helps you figure out the questions we need to ask ourselves to bring the fucked up shit to the front of the mind without having to kick it away with all your might. It does it in a subtle way that also gives you the strength the follow through.

I know, I've been writing more of a book review than a blog post, but I felt like I had to share this book. It's got nothing to do with AA or NA, but just plain old yourself and the world in the way you see it. It has already helped me figure some stuff out, and showed me things that I really need to work on. I'm sure it can, if not help you, change your perspective on some things in a positive way.

Alright, I'm done ranting. Just wanted to share something I thought might help.

Stay Strong Beautiful People

That's what the saying is right? New year, new me?



Is it really true? Are we really flourishing into a brand new people. Probably not. Can we? I mean, I think it could be possible.

Maybe... no not really. I'm not trying to be a negative sally though so just hold on a second.

It's definitely not as easy as it seems, to change completely. We are all stuck in our ways, ways that might not be the ones that are making us as happy as we wish they would.

So instead of deciding on a, 'New Year New Me' kind of situation, I wanted to make a 'New Year, Better me'

That one,  is definitely possible.

I feel most of us fail to accomplish what we set out to be our resolutions because we tend to overwhelm ourselves with changing into this new person. I don't think this is something that is needed. I don't even think it is something positive.

No matter what, we are all beautiful people. Things that are occurring on the outside world might just not be making us happy.

Whether its the guy not making us happy; our body isn't how we want it to be; whether or not we want to keep doing this or that... you get the point.

That got me thinking if it is our behaviors that lead to those outside events. After all, our word is shaped by how we perceive things and how we react to those thoughts.

The resolutions we tend to set are sometimes things that we already know are not going to be accomplished the second we write them down, or make a mental note of them though and punish ourselves when we "fail."

A quick example in my own life was that I wanted to go to the gym a few times a week and so on. But, I knew life was going to get in the way sometimes and other times, I might just not want to.
"Be more active" is what replaced it.

Some of you might not agree with my easier on thy self perspective, but I know for some, it might do well. Especially if, like me, you are recovering from an addiction.

Setting goals that are actually within your grasp and those that you will not hate yourself for setting in the first place, will be much more rewarding. It is then after your reach some of those goals that you can continue to work up to what you eventually want to accomplish.

What I am trying to get to really, is make 2016 a year that you are nicer to yourself. Be more compassionate, and don't be too hard on yourself.

Those are some of the most destructive patterns of thinking when it comes to happiness and your own self-perception.

I know for myself, it is what made 2015 a particular difficult year, when I don't think it really had to be.