Was it Death?

Yesterday was kind of an off day. A day where I guess Death was just a main theme. I had found out that a friend of mine lost a friend due to an overdose of heroin. Another life sadly cut so short because of addiction.

So the day already kind of just had a feel in the air. I was already trying to keep up with the thoughts that were racing though my mind.

Well a bit later on, I went to meet up with a few friends at out favorite coffee house by the beach. It has always been the place I go to when I just need to relax and calm the storm going on in my own head.

Just as the thought of death was starting to drift away from me, a man came up to us who looked about in his late 60s. To sum up the next 30 minutes of conversation with him, he basically told us he had lung cancer and was only given a few months left. He had told us that he had done so much in his life. He had fought in wars, traveled to many different countries, and crossed off everything on his bucket list. He was now, "tired, and ready to go."

He walked away, and that was that. All of us were at a loss of words without a clue to how to react to this, and he just walked off. I felt sorry for the man, but also glad he was so accepting of what was happening to him.

The rest of the night just consisted of me deep in thought about death. One of my biggest fears. My mind wandered back to all the friends I had lost, all the lives that were taken daily by addiction and so on. I specifically kept thinking about my last overdose. I was lucky enough to survive three, but never thought much of it. I remember sometimes wishing I hadn't made it, that it would just all end and I would be at peace.

Thinking back now of that time... well it just gives me chills. There is so much I still want to do in my life. So much I want to be. From school, to my career, to my writing, love, and just so much. Unlike so many others, we still have the chance to make life better for ourselves. And we need to take that chance and try our best. If there is something we are unhappy about, we have the option of trying to change it.

I want that mindset that the older man had. I want to try my best to accomplish everything I want. Then, at my final years, hopefully them still being far far away, I will be satisfied with the life I have lived.

So maybe the main theme of yesterday wasn't really all about death, or maybe it was? Either way, until that time comes, I still have so much left I want to do. Don't you?